Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
