we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You are a genius and a whore.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize