Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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