Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
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Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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