i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
