In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
