Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize