Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
