i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
