This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize