She's JV to your varsity
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
