Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
