so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
