She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
