i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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