She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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