Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
