I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
