it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
