ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
