My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Houston, we have a blender
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
