she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
