do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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