This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
