So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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