she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
