I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
