So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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