Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
