just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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