Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
