Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
