I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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