How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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