I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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