My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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