i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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