How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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