I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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