So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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