I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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