Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
