Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
