I feel like abortions should bother me more
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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