Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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