just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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