I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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