Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
