happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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