babies were throwing up all over the place
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
