I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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