He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
