At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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