Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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