Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
