I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
