you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
