I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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