I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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