There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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