did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Jerry, you need to find god
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize