There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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