You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
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Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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