Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
