you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
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Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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